| Copyright Cathy Walker Meyer 2008 |
Learning how to grow through adversity
Mindfulness
Our reaction to stressful events in our lives can become so habitual that they occur without our awareness.
We become so accustomed to reacting to stress in a certain way that it is second nature to us. We aren’t
aware that we are reacting in a way that is harmful to us until we are plagued with physical or emotional
problems that we can no longer ignore.
The way we react to stress depends on the way we think about a stressful event when it happens. Have
you ever known anyone who seems to sale straight through the problems in their lives? There are people
in the world that can deal smoothly with issues that might cripple others emotionally.
The one thing that enables these people to deal so well with a stressful event is the way they think about
the event or issue. They aren’t in the habit of jumping to the worst conclusion. They are not habitual
negative thinkers who are prisoners of their own “I can’t do this” attitude.
There was a time when I was addicted to negative thoughts. My brain automatically jumped to the worst
conclusion.
For example, when my oldest son was 6 he spent a week with his grandparents who lived 200 miles away.
He and his grandmother were out one afternoon shopping. I knew their plans for the day and didn’t feel
concerned. I knew he was as safe with her as he was with me.
In the back of my mind though I had calculated how long it would take them to do the things they were
going to be doing. By the time, I called to speak to him that evening I fully expected them to be home…safe
and sound. After all, according to my calculations (need to control) their time for fun was up. I placed my
call, well after dark and was told by my father that they were not yet home.
My brain kicked into gear and I went straight from them being out having a great time to them being hurt in
an accident or, worse yet both dead from some unknown cause. Instead of thinking “they must be having a
great time together,” my first thought was, “there must be something wrong.”
Immediately my muscles began to tense, my heart began to beat faster, I began to pace the floor and
feelings of panic began to build. I stayed in this horrible physical and emotional state until I knew they had
arrived home safely. And, once I knew they were safe I had to begin recovering from the toll my negative
thinking had taken on me physically and emotionally.
It wasn’t until I went through my divorce that I became aware of just how much damage being addicted to
negative thinking can do. I literally became physically and emotionally exhausted from worry. Exhaustion
that occurred because I had no idea how to be mindful of what I was thinking and how my thinking was
affecting me.
I was not paying attention and the consequences of this inattention were quite costly. It resulted in me
missing some really good things in my life. It also caused me to ignore important information and messages
about my life and my own health.
Most people use the term mindfulness to express the need to stay tuned into what is going on in your life. I
use to express the importance of staying tuned to what is going on in your head. Be mindful of those
thoughts rattling around in your brain because it is those thoughts that will determine how well you
navigate stressful events and issues as they come up.
You’ve heard the expression, “pain is inevitable, suffering is not.” You may wonder, if I’m in pain then how
do I stop the suffering I’m experiencing? You stop the suffering by…
· Living one day at a time.
· Paying attention to the way you are thinking about your situation.
· Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
· Becoming “the little engine that could.”
Get through today. Don’t expend energy on tomorrow. Use the energy you have to be mindful and
attentive about today and squeezing all the joy out of it that you can.
If you find your mind wondering to self-defeating thoughts of not being able to tackle whatever is causing
you stress, replace those thoughts with positive, self-affirming thoughts. Old habits die-hard but, with effort
you will find that you can replace the habit of negative thinking with the habit of positive thinking.
Someone who exercises their ability to think positively anticipates happiness, joy, good health and a
successful outcome to every situation they are in. You can become that "someone."
You can grow Through Adversity!
Our reaction to stressful events in our lives can become so habitual that they occur without our awareness.
We become so accustomed to reacting to stress in a certain way that it is second nature to us. We aren’t
aware that we are reacting in a way that is harmful to us until we are plagued with physical or emotional
problems that we can no longer ignore.
The way we react to stress depends on the way we think about a stressful event when it happens. Have
you ever known anyone who seems to sale straight through the problems in their lives? There are people
in the world that can deal smoothly with issues that might cripple others emotionally.
The one thing that enables these people to deal so well with a stressful event is the way they think about
the event or issue. They aren’t in the habit of jumping to the worst conclusion. They are not habitual
negative thinkers who are prisoners of their own “I can’t do this” attitude.
There was a time when I was addicted to negative thoughts. My brain automatically jumped to the worst
conclusion.
For example, when my oldest son was 6 he spent a week with his grandparents who lived 200 miles away.
He and his grandmother were out one afternoon shopping. I knew their plans for the day and didn’t feel
concerned. I knew he was as safe with her as he was with me.
In the back of my mind though I had calculated how long it would take them to do the things they were
going to be doing. By the time, I called to speak to him that evening I fully expected them to be home…safe
and sound. After all, according to my calculations (need to control) their time for fun was up. I placed my
call, well after dark and was told by my father that they were not yet home.
My brain kicked into gear and I went straight from them being out having a great time to them being hurt in
an accident or, worse yet both dead from some unknown cause. Instead of thinking “they must be having a
great time together,” my first thought was, “there must be something wrong.”
Immediately my muscles began to tense, my heart began to beat faster, I began to pace the floor and
feelings of panic began to build. I stayed in this horrible physical and emotional state until I knew they had
arrived home safely. And, once I knew they were safe I had to begin recovering from the toll my negative
thinking had taken on me physically and emotionally.
It wasn’t until I went through my divorce that I became aware of just how much damage being addicted to
negative thinking can do. I literally became physically and emotionally exhausted from worry. Exhaustion
that occurred because I had no idea how to be mindful of what I was thinking and how my thinking was
affecting me.
I was not paying attention and the consequences of this inattention were quite costly. It resulted in me
missing some really good things in my life. It also caused me to ignore important information and messages
about my life and my own health.
Most people use the term mindfulness to express the need to stay tuned into what is going on in your life. I
use to express the importance of staying tuned to what is going on in your head. Be mindful of those
thoughts rattling around in your brain because it is those thoughts that will determine how well you
navigate stressful events and issues as they come up.
You’ve heard the expression, “pain is inevitable, suffering is not.” You may wonder, if I’m in pain then how
do I stop the suffering I’m experiencing? You stop the suffering by…
· Living one day at a time.
· Paying attention to the way you are thinking about your situation.
· Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
· Becoming “the little engine that could.”
Get through today. Don’t expend energy on tomorrow. Use the energy you have to be mindful and
attentive about today and squeezing all the joy out of it that you can.
If you find your mind wondering to self-defeating thoughts of not being able to tackle whatever is causing
you stress, replace those thoughts with positive, self-affirming thoughts. Old habits die-hard but, with effort
you will find that you can replace the habit of negative thinking with the habit of positive thinking.
Someone who exercises their ability to think positively anticipates happiness, joy, good health and a
successful outcome to every situation they are in. You can become that "someone."
You can grow Through Adversity!
