| Copyright Cathy Walker Meyer 2007 |
| My Story |
Learning to grow through adversity
| Home Services FAQ Cathy at About.com Cathy at First Wives World Articles Acceptance Responsibility Mindfulness Opportunity |
"Cathy is always there
for me and has an
uncanny ability to help
me move forward
through issues that
seem impenetrable.
With her expert support
my life has become
freer since my divorce.
I'm much more
confident and
comfortable in living the
life I choose.
She's also been
perfectly right on, gently
spotting and
addressing attitudes
and beliefs that I didn’t
even know I had which
were really getting in my
own way."
Shana, Freelance
Writer, Age 32
for me and has an
uncanny ability to help
me move forward
through issues that
seem impenetrable.
With her expert support
my life has become
freer since my divorce.
I'm much more
confident and
comfortable in living the
life I choose.
She's also been
perfectly right on, gently
spotting and
addressing attitudes
and beliefs that I didn’t
even know I had which
were really getting in my
own way."
Shana, Freelance
Writer, Age 32
Welcome. I’m Cathy Walker Meyer. I’m a mom, certified life and divorce
coach, marriage educator, legal investigator, writer, acrylic artist and
lover of two small dogs who keep my feet warm at night.
I’m the expert for the Divorce Support channel at About.com where I
write articles on all aspects of divorce. I’m a resource writer for
First Wives World where I write a weekly blog post about issues
involved in navigating divorce and moving beyond. I’ve spent the
past five years working with clients going through divorce, studying
the effects of divorce on individuals and developing strategies for
handling divorce and moving on to a new, rewarding life.
I have two beautiful sons, Elliott (23) and Taylor (16). I’m single, love
my independence and putting to use the things I’ve learned about
surviving and blooming after divorce.
My story. 1999 was a very long, anxiety-producing year. My ex-husband came to the decision that he
could no longer stay in the marriage that year. He not only decided he could no longer stay in the
marriage, he also became angry, had a drastic change in personality and obstinately refused to negotiate
one on one any of the legal or emotional issues surrounding our divorce.
I went that year from being part of a mildly troubled marriage to being a spouse who felt thrown away and
left to pick up the pieces and clean up the mess. My sons were 7 and 14 at the time. Not only did I have to
deal with my own emotional turmoil I had to make sure they were able to understand and deal with what
was happening. Their father went from being a very involved parent, a large part of their daily lives to
someone who saw them and spoke to them every 14 days.
Well, we all three kinda fell apart. It wasn’t the kind of breakdown you could see from afar but the three of
us
experienced a very traumatic transition. We all had our own separate issues with the divorce and I was left
alone to figure out how to get us through that time of adversity.
For years, I had been a mother, a wife, a homemaker and a lover. I had a role and I liked that role. I didn’t
do well when someone messed with the role I had chosen for myself. It finally hit me that my need to be
one thing, with one set of rules and one measurement for success wasn’t going to work any longer. Part of
my struggle after my ex left was self-imposed. I had boxed myself in and I had to figure out how to get out
of that box.
I had to discover who I really was rather than who I had created myself to be. I knew that before I would be
able to do this I had to accept where I was in life, I had to get control over my thought processes and
become more mindful. I had to learn that along with change come opportunities and I had to take
responsibility for getting what I wanted out of life. I had to learn to Grow Through Adversity. For the first
time in my life I had to be courageous, to stand up for myself and my children and take control over the
direction our lives would go in after my divorce. I had to write my own story and live it with all my heart.
My divorce turned out to be my most precious blessing. I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be doing
what I do today. That is what drives me, the knowledge that from adversity comes a renewal of spirit, an
opportunity to grow and flourish. It is not an ending, it is a beginning. A new beginning made more precious
due to the emotional pain we have to go through to get there. I tell my clients that they will one day be
thankful for the conflict and pain because without it they would have never discovered who they really are
and what they really want out of life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the questions I’ve been asked since becoming a Coach and
Marriage Educator. The questions come from different places-some from clients, some from people who
wonder why I decided to make divorce a business:
Did you choose the profession you are in because you were never able to move past your own
divorce? No, I chose it because I have worked through the pain of my divorce, learned some
extraordinary things and have a passionate desire to share what I have learned with others.
Is it hard to mother your children and at the same time be an activist for those going through
divorce? For me I think it would be impossible not to do both. I’ve always been an activist, it is part of my
personality. Now, when I look at my sons I realize that helping others get through divorce with less pain is
not a choice, it is my ethical responsibility. A commitment bound by profound love for my own children and
everyone else’s. If I can help keep one child from suffering the way my children have I feel I’ve honored my
children and all children.
Do you study divorce issues because you still deal with some or do you do it to keep others
from having to deal with such issues? Both! I’m healed from the pain of my divorce but I’m human and
still have feelings of inadequacy and the need to be perfect. We recover from divorce but it leaves us with
scars and, at times, those scars can become irritated. After five years of working with clients going
through divorce I’ve learned a few things that have changed my life and that I believe are worth passing on
to others. That “passing one” helps me daily in dealing with my own issues when they come up.
Do you think growth through adversity and resilience come from psychology or spirituality?
Both! Emotional well-being and the human spirit are inextricably connected. The mind’s eye is housed in
the heart. Once we get the heart and the mind aligned we experience true healing and growth.
High heels or flip flops? I refuse to choose! I’m a small town Southern woman which doesn’t make me
unique but it does give me the footwear birthright to both high heels and flip flops. You may also catch me
in Birkenstocks during the hot Tennessee summer – we have long summers in this part of the country.
There are days you can gauge my mood by what I've got on my feet. One thing is for sure, I'm always
ready to stir the mind and heart into life's latte and hit the road. How about you? Are you ready to rewrite
the script and come home to your true self?
coach, marriage educator, legal investigator, writer, acrylic artist and
lover of two small dogs who keep my feet warm at night.
I’m the expert for the Divorce Support channel at About.com where I
write articles on all aspects of divorce. I’m a resource writer for
First Wives World where I write a weekly blog post about issues
involved in navigating divorce and moving beyond. I’ve spent the
past five years working with clients going through divorce, studying
the effects of divorce on individuals and developing strategies for
handling divorce and moving on to a new, rewarding life.
I have two beautiful sons, Elliott (23) and Taylor (16). I’m single, love
my independence and putting to use the things I’ve learned about
surviving and blooming after divorce.
My story. 1999 was a very long, anxiety-producing year. My ex-husband came to the decision that he
could no longer stay in the marriage that year. He not only decided he could no longer stay in the
marriage, he also became angry, had a drastic change in personality and obstinately refused to negotiate
one on one any of the legal or emotional issues surrounding our divorce.
I went that year from being part of a mildly troubled marriage to being a spouse who felt thrown away and
left to pick up the pieces and clean up the mess. My sons were 7 and 14 at the time. Not only did I have to
deal with my own emotional turmoil I had to make sure they were able to understand and deal with what
was happening. Their father went from being a very involved parent, a large part of their daily lives to
someone who saw them and spoke to them every 14 days.
Well, we all three kinda fell apart. It wasn’t the kind of breakdown you could see from afar but the three of
us
experienced a very traumatic transition. We all had our own separate issues with the divorce and I was left
alone to figure out how to get us through that time of adversity.
For years, I had been a mother, a wife, a homemaker and a lover. I had a role and I liked that role. I didn’t
do well when someone messed with the role I had chosen for myself. It finally hit me that my need to be
one thing, with one set of rules and one measurement for success wasn’t going to work any longer. Part of
my struggle after my ex left was self-imposed. I had boxed myself in and I had to figure out how to get out
of that box.
I had to discover who I really was rather than who I had created myself to be. I knew that before I would be
able to do this I had to accept where I was in life, I had to get control over my thought processes and
become more mindful. I had to learn that along with change come opportunities and I had to take
responsibility for getting what I wanted out of life. I had to learn to Grow Through Adversity. For the first
time in my life I had to be courageous, to stand up for myself and my children and take control over the
direction our lives would go in after my divorce. I had to write my own story and live it with all my heart.
My divorce turned out to be my most precious blessing. I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be doing
what I do today. That is what drives me, the knowledge that from adversity comes a renewal of spirit, an
opportunity to grow and flourish. It is not an ending, it is a beginning. A new beginning made more precious
due to the emotional pain we have to go through to get there. I tell my clients that they will one day be
thankful for the conflict and pain because without it they would have never discovered who they really are
and what they really want out of life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the questions I’ve been asked since becoming a Coach and
Marriage Educator. The questions come from different places-some from clients, some from people who
wonder why I decided to make divorce a business:
Did you choose the profession you are in because you were never able to move past your own
divorce? No, I chose it because I have worked through the pain of my divorce, learned some
extraordinary things and have a passionate desire to share what I have learned with others.
Is it hard to mother your children and at the same time be an activist for those going through
divorce? For me I think it would be impossible not to do both. I’ve always been an activist, it is part of my
personality. Now, when I look at my sons I realize that helping others get through divorce with less pain is
not a choice, it is my ethical responsibility. A commitment bound by profound love for my own children and
everyone else’s. If I can help keep one child from suffering the way my children have I feel I’ve honored my
children and all children.
Do you study divorce issues because you still deal with some or do you do it to keep others
from having to deal with such issues? Both! I’m healed from the pain of my divorce but I’m human and
still have feelings of inadequacy and the need to be perfect. We recover from divorce but it leaves us with
scars and, at times, those scars can become irritated. After five years of working with clients going
through divorce I’ve learned a few things that have changed my life and that I believe are worth passing on
to others. That “passing one” helps me daily in dealing with my own issues when they come up.
Do you think growth through adversity and resilience come from psychology or spirituality?
Both! Emotional well-being and the human spirit are inextricably connected. The mind’s eye is housed in
the heart. Once we get the heart and the mind aligned we experience true healing and growth.
High heels or flip flops? I refuse to choose! I’m a small town Southern woman which doesn’t make me
unique but it does give me the footwear birthright to both high heels and flip flops. You may also catch me
in Birkenstocks during the hot Tennessee summer – we have long summers in this part of the country.
There are days you can gauge my mood by what I've got on my feet. One thing is for sure, I'm always
ready to stir the mind and heart into life's latte and hit the road. How about you? Are you ready to rewrite
the script and come home to your true self?
“Cathy helped me
to have faith in
myself again. Her
beautiful attitude
has changed my
whole feeling
about myself. She is the
reason I am where I am
today...in a very good
place”
Fisher, Mortgage
Broker, Age 47
to have faith in
myself again. Her
beautiful attitude
has changed my
whole feeling
about myself. She is the
reason I am where I am
today...in a very good
place”
Fisher, Mortgage
Broker, Age 47
“Cathy’s words
of wisdom, experience,
and encouragement
have given me a
boost of enthusiasm as
well as a
realistic picture
of what is ahead.
I feel ready to
go-for-it.”
Kimberly, Hospital
Admin, Age 36
of wisdom, experience,
and encouragement
have given me a
boost of enthusiasm as
well as a
realistic picture
of what is ahead.
I feel ready to
go-for-it.”
Kimberly, Hospital
Admin, Age 36
I hope you’ll stop by
my blog and visit.
Please feel free to join
the conversation –
there’s plenty of room
for good-hearted,
respectful discussion
and debate
my blog and visit.
Please feel free to join
the conversation –
there’s plenty of room
for good-hearted,
respectful discussion
and debate
| A few of my favorite things |
